1 June 2007

Secrets For A Happy Marriage

Anyone who says that a marriage should be perfect all the time is either crazy or they've never been married. The fact of the matter is a marriage is a partnership. It's a team effort that involves ups, downs, good times and bad.

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The secrets to a long and lasting marriage that remains solid through the years lie in the five virtues discussed earlier. When a couple is truly in love and they happen to have respect for each other, trust each other, are honest to each other and themselves and they are willing to compromise once in a while, the keys for success are all there.

Will it be easy? Absolutely not, but it will be worth it.

Due to the mere fact a husband and wife are human, there will be mistakes, errors and hurt feelings along the way. Some days will be better than others. That's just a reality of life. When obstacles are tackled together and life is truly shared and enjoyed by the two, the love that's present on day one will very likely grow, blossom and mature into something much sweeter over time.

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If the goal is to someday be that elderly couple that can't seem to take a walk without holding hands, the virtues of marriage must be present. When these are held dear, no matter how bad a day, week or month is going, the likelihood of lasting happiness increases greatly.

Just like the people in the relationship themselves, a marriage is a living, breathing thing. It requires love, nurturing and patience to survive and thrive. So, too, do both people involved. While they are a team, they must also have the room to grow and breathe on their own once in a while.

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From the very moment she says "I do" to 50 years down the road, every major step along the way should very likely be treated as a team effort. From planning the wedding and surviving the big day to handling the pressures of daily life, children, careers and more, when a couple puts forth a united front, unstoppable is the best way to describe the synergy.

With love, trust, respect, honesty and a willingness to truly compromise once in a while, almost any problem can be tackled. From picking out the wedding cake to choosing a first house, any obstacle can be overcome when a couple does it together.

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Tips For Surviving The Big Day

The dresses have been altered, the cake is frosted and the decorations are in the hall. The time for planning is over. Now's the time to take it all in and enjoy. The wedding day is about the couple, their devotion and commitment to each other. It's also about having fun.

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Realizing that and actually allowing oneself the leeway to relax and enjoy are as different as day and night for many. The fact is nerves and emotions tend to get the better of people on this day of all days. Overwhelming feelings of happiness, elation and even a little bittersweet sorrow at saying goodbye to the past can all get tossed into the mix and make "The Big Day" seem like a torture session.

Turning this around is possible. With a little planning, at least some of the detail-oriented stress can be taken out of the day entirely. Be prepared to feel a roller coaster of emotions, however. This can go for the groom as much as the bride.

To help take the stress, or at least some of it, out of the day, try:

Getting it ready early – If you know you'll be a mess in the morning, go ahead and lay everything out the night before. Whether it's the dress, shoes, veil, hose and garter or the tux and its accoutrements, just have these things in order as early as possible. If necessary, make a list of the things you'll need a few days in advance and check it off as you go the evening before.

Set appointments smartly – If the wedding is at 7 p.m., don't get hair and make up done at 9 a.m. Try to plan any pre-ceremony appointments close enough to the actual time of the event, but far enough away to allow wiggle room if traffic or other delays crop up.

Focus – Remember, today is all about you, your intended and sharing your love for each other with your family and friends. It's not really about a cake, decorations or shiny rings on two fingers. Focus on what is important and allow that to guide you as you go.

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No matter how hard people plan or how much they take care of in advance, there's always some teeny, tiny minor glitch on the day of a big event. It doesn't matter if the couple handles the pre-wedding preparations completely on their own, if family is involved or even a professional planner is in the driver's seat, something somewhere will likely be out of place.

A wedding day, however, is special above all. When attention is paid to what is really important and what might not be quite as much, the little things tend to not get in the way. Twenty years down the road, you're not likely to remember that the turkey was just a tad too dry. Don't sweat the small stuff.

The day is about you and your intended. Cherish it. Enjoy it. Above all, live it.


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Keeping It Cool During Planning

Once friends, family and/or a wedding planner are brought into the picture, the pace of getting ready for the big day should pick up a lot. These people will very likely bring to the table tons of great advice, ideas for things the couple didn't even think of and, sometimes, their own opinions. Learning how to handle the influx of input gracefully, especially if it's coming from the person footing the bill, is a vital for ensuring a wedding goes off without a hitch or at least a big one.

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The virtues of a good marriage can actually help here – especially compromise. It is important for a couple to pick their battles on the wedding planning front. While some family members are inclined to let the lovebirds run the show entirely, others might not be so willing.

To get through this stage of the pre-wedding period, it's important to employ a few techniques that can really help:

Organization – This is key to making sure everything from getting the invitations out on time to remembering the marriage license is taken care of when and how it should be. Wedding calendars can be great investments for those who aren't using a wedding planner.

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Compromise – While not every detail of a wedding should fall to compromise, when family members get involved sometimes it's necessary to give a little. Stick to your guns on the big things your heart is set on and be willing to bend on other details. If, for example, your mother or mother-in-law to be really likes a particular caterer or florist, give it a shot. If you're determined to go another route, politely explain why and let her have a different "victory."

Patience – Remember, people get married every day. The planning and preparing doesn't have to be completed this minute. Even if one thing is out of place on the big day, you'll still get married and it's very likely you'll have the time of your life doing so.

Common sense – This can go a long way toward making pre-wedding planning go a whole lot more smoothly.

Just breathe – If the "help" of family and even professional planners is starting to become a little too much, just breathe. Count to ten. Then decide the best course of action.

Getting ready for a wedding, no matter how big or small the actual event, can take a lot more effort than many realize. When friends, family and even professional planners are brought into the picture, there can be harmony or discord. Holding your ground on the details that are extremely important to you and your intended is a good idea. Giving a little on other aspects is also smart.

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Wedding Planning Assistance

A couple lost in love will soon find out that bliss doesn't extend to every aspect of their lives. It's one thing to decide to get married. It's another entirely to get into the planning stages for the big event.

Even the most simplistic of weddings comes with a whole lot of decisions that need making. It's not as easy as setting a date and showing up. There are literally hundreds of small details that need attending to and choices that pop up every step of the way.

Before even enlisting the help of friends, family or a wedding planner, a couple should set a few rules of the road. It is very easy for others to get involved and try and take over. While this is appreciated in some cases, it might result in a day that doesn't come close to resembling what the couple wants.

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To avoid this, the first thing a couple should do after setting a date is to sit down to discuss the general details a little more clearly. What does each person envision for their perfect wedding? Are there any particular details that are must haves? Are there things about weddings that one passionately hates?

Since it is very likely the groom will back out of planning the nitty, gritty details, having a solid idea for direction from the start can really help the bride out immensely. It is very important for him to be open to questioning here and for her to understand that he might not have strong opinions on every detail. This doesn't mean he doesn't care, it just means he thinks she's more capable of picking out the right colors, flowers, dresses and even cake.

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With that said, it is still important for him to get involved as much as he can. Helping with the decisions, running around, shopping and even in the invitation writing can make the entire process go much more smoothly.

To help out, couples should create a list of their must haves, things they are willing to compromise on and also everything that needs to be done. From picking out the date and the location of the festivities to booking the food, flowers, photographer and even bakery, there will be a lot of things on that list.

If a wedding planner's assistance is being used, this stage will likely go a whole lot more smoothly. He or she will do most of the legwork, but it will still be up to the couple to make the choices – or it should be.

Once the basic direction has been set or at least mostly set, it's likely time for a couple to enlist a little aid. A wedding is also a very special time for friends and family. Whether the mother of the bride will be assisting, a friend or even a wedding planner, now's the time to get them involved.

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Bridal Shower Games

A Bridal shower is when the bride gets to enjoy her last days as a single woman. Every bridal shower should include some fun games. Make sure that the games involve all the guests!

Here are some ideas…..

Theme – Pick a theme for the bridal party, for example ‘Victorian theme’ – The guests can dress up accordingly and play games that relate to ‘Victorian times’.

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Bridal Trivia – where guests share what they know about the bride as well as ideas, thoughts and advice.

Dress up – A traditional idea would be to dress up the bride to be in a vale and toilet paper gown.


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28 May 2007

Wedding and Marriage Tips


Getting married can be one of the most wonderful, exciting and magical times in a couple's lives. The event itself, however, can bring with it lots of stress, pressure and even a little chaos. Surviving up to and through the big day will likely be one of the first major challenges a couple will face together, but it won't be the last.

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Marriage is (or can be) a wonderful story of love, respect, honesty, trust and compromise. When these five virtues of a successful marriage are brought into every aspect of a couple's lives together, getting through anything is possible. When they're not, the results can be less than desirable.

Learning to thrive off these five things comes naturally to some couples, but might take a little practice for others to successfully employ. When they are put into action, there's almost nothing a couple can't accomplish together.

When the five virtues are held to tightly, even wedding planning and getting through the ceremony, honeymoon and the years ahead will be much easier. Sure, there will be bumps in the road, but the couple that cleaves to their love for each other while maintaining respect, honesty, trust and willingness for compromise will likely make it through the long haul.

Still, there are a few other tips, tricks and secrets that can help make getting through the wedding planning and the big day itself a little easier. Make no mistake, there will be lots to do and much to remember to plan a ceremony, reception and even honeymoon. When families and friends get involved in the act, the planning can become even trickier. Fortunately, there are things couples can do to help them along the way and get through every decision – big and small – with relative ease.

Taking the pressure off the big day itself is a bit more problematic. The desire to have everything "perfect" will no doubt be high, but there are little tricks that can help with this, as well. At this stage, it's important to remember the day really is about the couple and not whether the cake arrives on time or if the flowers are perfect.

Concentrating on what is really important can help bring things into better focus. The wedding day is about proclaiming commitment and celebrating. It's not really about decorations, photographers or a run in a pair of pantyhose. Try to relax and enjoy.

Beyond the wedding , making sure a marriage goes as smoothly as life will allow is a function of the five virtues. When a couple works together as a team, it results in a combination that is very hard to beat. There are tips to help make this go a little more smoothly, as well.

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The Ultimate Guide for Wedding and Marriage